What now?

It's been awhile. Recapping.

August 1st,
Movie marathon with SPC kids. We only saw two movies. LOL!
The guys; Cang, Richy, Tony, Matthew, and me were playing Yu-Gi-Oh...
LOL! Don't hate bitches. -_-
After the INTENSE dueling session, we went over to the ghetto cholo park near Tina's house.
Made a bet with Christina, pink haired girl! LOL!, that's her nickname, that she wouldn't stay clean before she graduates. 50 bucks is the bet. We'll find out who wins in 3 years or sooner. LOL!
Yea, came back watched Balls of Fury and then Tiffany, Richy, and me went home.

August 4th,
Aunt Nancy and grandparents came over with Bella. Oh goodness, she's such a cutie. But she messes around to much. -_- Got her greasy hands over my keyboard! D: It's ok though, I forgive her. She have me a hug and a kiss before she left. Sucha a cutie for a two year old. And she talks a lot! Ahahaha. I don't remember seeing a baby talk that much before.
But yea, they orginally came over to just hang out for abit and somehow we ended up cooking liek crazy. LOL! So spontaneous. Made some asian noodles and tempura. Yumm!

So it's been two weeks now. I recently read her blog. And it seems she's moving on now.
So I guess it's really over between us. I thought maybe one day we could try again. But it turns out that all of it was just wishful thinking.
She was the one I truly loved. Thinking back to my past relationships and now. I can honestly say that I've never loved any of them. No, they were just an infatuation that led to a failed relationship. And yet, this relationship failed, but I can't let her go like I did the others.
With them it was just so easy. Oh, they dumped me. Okay, moving on.
But now, I don't know what to do. She's still on my mind 24/7.
Why do I still have feelings for her? I honestly don't know.
I can't think of any words to explain why other than this one; love.
But now, we're just friends and if that's the best I can get, then I'll have to deal.
At least I'll still get to see her and talk to her. That should be enough to help me get by.
Because I'd rather have her friendship then lose her completely from my life.
I'd really be lost then. Ahahah.
But yea, I'm done with relationships. I'm quiting now for the same reason I quit two years ago. The disappointment and pain. If this is part of love then I've already had enough.
Two more weeks and I'll know the answer to my own question.
Two more weeks.

So I guess it's time for me to start picking up the pieces of my heart and put them back together by myself like I've always done.
But, I'll leave this here in case she ever reads this.
Know that I'll always be here if you ever need anything.
You'll always have a special place in my heart.

And yet even after all this, I still can't stop missing you.
I love you.
And I wish you the best in life.<3
[Marques Houston - Sunset] This one I dedicate to you.


Range - Forfeiting

Oh, and it seems alternative is coming back to my life. Ahaha!
Secondhand Serenade
It's Not Over
Your Call
Fall For You
Broken
Maybe
Awake
Half Alive
Tested and True
Stay Close, Don't Go
Last Time

These song are beast!