"Nothing I can do, but to sit and think of you..."

11:11 Make a wish.

So today was beach day with some of the SPC kids. It was pretty fun.
First time at Sunset beach. Pretty nice there. A lotta people though.
It was windy. And the water was freezing cold as always.
Chilled at the beach until 5ish and then we headed out.
Everyone came back to my house. Ahaha. As always, either mines or Camille's house.
Where we grilled the rest of the burgers and got hot dogs. Made grilled cheese also.
Chilled some more. Pictionary. Wii. Movies. And boxing with the guys.
Ahahah! Anthony's stance is fucking hilarious.
And then we ended with a movie as always.
The last to leave were Myanh and Phouc Anh.
Chill day I guess.


Fourteenth.
Happy Would-Be Three Months.
To be honest, today was shit.
Woke up in the morning to realize that it was the 14th. Sitting on my bed.
The same place I asked her out. The same place we decided to put aside the title of boyfriend/girlfriend. The same place the conversation to end it completely took place.
So many memories came back. All the times we spent together, the stupid moments, the little fights over nothing, the big fights, and the love we shared. And no, not that dirty shit for all you dirty minded people. Leave those thoughts for some place else. Thanks.
I don't know how much longer I can keep up this happy face on. Because to be honest. I'm not.
Lately I've been crying so easily over the little things that remind me of you. It's quite lame actually. Watching the Korean Fullhouse with my little sister. And how their story was somewhat like ours. The part when they decided to finish through with the divorce... I didn't even notice until Michelle asked if I needed a tissue. I was like "What the fuck are you talking about?!"
Wipe my eyes to see that there were tears. Shocked me. I've never been like this before. Never.
Honestly, today I was happy for Tiffany and Richy. They made it to six months. They beat everyone's expectaions. But, at the same time I hated them. I envied them. They made it this far. But, I couldn't make it. Seeing them spend time together just reminds me of her even more. The whole day I was trying to avoid Tiffany and Richy. Ahaha. I guess Richy sensed something was wrong. Cause he kept coming up to me to see what's up. Funny how things never work out how you want it to. But, that's life. I wonder if she even thinks of me. School's starting after next week. Summer went by to fast. I'm not ready for it. I wonder if I'll see her again anytime soon. Or if I'll ever see her again at all. I miss her. And to be honest, I still love her. Maybe I'm a fool for holding on. But, I'm not here to ask for another chance to make things the way they were.
Because I believe that everything happens for a reason.
My only request is that maybe, just maybe, one day; her and I could start over. No, not from where we left off. But a fresh start. It'll be hard. But, if we try, then nothing's impossible.
To start anew. As if we just met for the first time. Ahaha. But, I guess all of this is just wishful thinking. I'll probably never get another chance. Love hurts, but it's a price we all choose to pay.
It's the risk that everyone who fall in love take.

Well it's late and I'm going to try and get some sleep.
Haven't been sleeping well. And the mornings are painful and tiring.
Goodnight.


I miss you.


David Choi - Only You